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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Amanda's Birth Story

birth story, Mother, Mother's Day, VBAC, kids, parenting,
It is hard to believe that 5 years ago I was a new mom of two. My daughter was born via an unnecessary cesarean in 2008, and I was a bit oblivious. I was one who didn’t realize that most doctors believed once a cesarean, always a cesarean, so when I went to my postpartum check-up and the OB said, in regard to birth control “well, you can get your tubes tied after baby #2” I was entirely confused. I told her then, “well, I plan to give birth the regular way next time and I’m not sure that I’d want only two.”

Needless to say, I didn’t go back there again and then started my journey in becoming a “birthy” mom.

As a failed induction, my daughter’s birth wasn’t as I had planned. Naively, I thought that as long as I followed the general instructions, brought a birth ball, refused unnecessary things like laying on my back or too much monitoring, I’d give birth. But, I was laughed at when I came in with the birth ball. A nurse actually said, “You don’t think people actually use those, do you?” Needless to say, the slippery slope had begun.

I’d have to say that most people don’t realize, you may pick your doctor, but it is the nurses who really matter. They’re the ones with you, and you can’t really interview the rotating nurses at hospitals! So, do ask around if you choose a hospital birth!

After bantering and guilt trips and learning that the doctor wouldn’t actually come visit me after she started the induction, and instead relied on my chart and phone calls to nurses, I ended up with a cesarean. That when it comes down to it, I didn’t realize I could have “fired” nurses from my room or, in fact, asked for a second opinion on the induction as it was.

So, after the cesarean and realizing it wasn’t what I wanted, I shopped around when I got pregnant again. I found a VBAC friendly OB, but at around 24 weeks she started with things like “what is your shoe size” to see if I’d have a VBAC. She was short too and had given birth “both ways” so I thought she was a good fit. In the end, I changed again to a hospital midwife group. It wasn’t the best on earth, but I felt supported by the midwives, if not all the nurses, and I did have a VBAC.

It may not be the birth that makes you a mom, but it is the environment that you give birth in that helps you in how you view the emergence of motherhood.

Amanda is a Yooper by birth, and after living in Maryland, Arizona, and India she and her family are now living in SE Michigan. She blogs at www.attachedmoms.com and does freelance writing and coaching at www.makingitasawriter.com